Instantly discover a persons main worry about an upcoming change by how they speak just five words: “We cant do that here”.
I found this in a book a long time ago – “The Secret Language of Success: Using Body Language to Get What You Want” by Dr. David Lewis (1989).
I confess I never got round to testing it properly but it sounded intriguing so I pass it on - "buyer beware".
Imagine you are the leader of a new team or network.
How can you quickly find out what each team member's number one concern is about working in this scenario?
Dr Lewis recommends you get each of them to repeat the following 5 words out loud without thinking about it too much:
"We can’t do that here”
Listen carefully to which of the five words they stress – if its:
- We – they are worried about their Identity
- Can’t – they are worried about their beliefs and values
- Do – they are worried about their skills
- That – they are worried about their behavior
- Here – they are worried about the environment
It might be nonsense, they might laugh at you or you might just learn something important about one of your fellow team members!
What's going on With Him (or Her)??
A related way to try to understand the other person in the situation:
Why is
1. this person
2. talking about this
3. in this tone and style (level of intensity)
4,. with me
5. right now
Posted by: Kare Anderson | 08/30/2007 at 12:50 AM